Thursday, May 19, 2005

Why oh why are things turning out the way they did? I mean like, wads so hard about telling me whether i'm just a friend to u or do i mean much more?
Its fucking irritating to keep guessing what your true feelings are. and telling me yur born this way, full of secrecy is tantamount to telling me that yur a fucked up player who loves toying with my feelings..
so dont regret if u lose me. i dont fucking care anymore.. its irritating how u can shrug off somethign that actually made me lose control of myself.. damn u.. yur teh onli person who has ever done this to me. Bitch.. Fuck off man.

Fuck everything in this blasted world.. idiots who are hypocrites, dumb people who permeate the damn world with their stench. I'm not superior, just more practical.. Someone tell me that being a dreamer will make me happier, i'd say i'd rather be comfortable first and then be happy later. Having said this, i feel that i may have grown up quite a bit, at least i know what i want, and what i need to do to achieve it. Though i'm bogged down by the bitch in para 1, i still got to find the strength to make it thru.. and while mrs goon once again reminded me that my studies are the most important, i guess somethings u just cant escape from.

While what i wish for may never come through in the immediate future, i can onli hope to create an idealistic life for myself.Damn, i really need to get something done to my bike, i really need to get out and cycle to free myself from the damn frustrations in my damned life.

Finished 3rd for the 400m finals,
din make it to the 200m finals, though i got 6th for my 1500m.
Still got teh medley and the inter-cca race to run for.

How i envy those living their blissful lives now. The fucking chemicals floating thru my damn body causing these feelings of love ought to be drained from my being, just so that i will have a short-term reprieve from the shit in my life.. Not a worthy sacrifice.. definitely not.

jonny`
+ 5/19/2005 05:49:00 pm