The lunatic, the lover and the poet. Are of imagination all complete

2009-06-21T22:53:00.003+08:00

i accept the blames upon my person and repent for my mistakes. The future lies in the balance and the past, an experience.

Come what may

2008-04-23T22:51:00.001+08:00

Consistancy
Initiative
Communication

Please be more aware. Thank you.

2008-02-18T14:00:00.003+08:00

its amazing how reliant i have become on the alarm clock. the failure to set it then resulted in me missing my first day of work. Thankfully the manager seemed quite ok with it and that i do not have a MC but there must not be a second time. The only consolation, no DB ahahaha.. out but yet reminiscing.

Its day 14 of brooding. i can only keep my fingers crossed.

2008-01-23T17:55:00.000+08:00

so i managed to come back today for a bit and i was observing my canaries for the affectionate behaviour that i've witnessed a few days back. After an hour or so, still no sign of it and my itchy fingers led me to go remove the grilled partition and the female was somewhat dominant, and then the horror! she started pulling on whats left of my scruffy male's tale and i was just shocked.

Recovery actions followed immediately and now i have the headache of wandering if my female really is a female or what i should do with the birds now. separate them or get another smaller cage and split them up? sigh.. the dilemna.

2008-01-14T14:24:00.000+08:00

just a couple of serious resolutions:

1. Obtain my finacial critical mass
2. Start being more sociable.
3. smile more
4. be respondsible.
5. be more frugal

they are all equally important.

On a lighter note, the birds are doing fine.. i should be able to introduce them together in the same cage in another week. which would also present the fact that i ought to go get the nest too.
Varying their diets make such good fun. Only problem seems to be bath time.

2008-01-10T23:49:00.000+08:00

wtf..it isnt supposed to be like this

2007-11-12T16:44:00.000+08:00

Impatience is the key word today.

The uncertain future paints a scary picture. Its really is all about finances aint it?

Just 2 more weeks to go and the end would be here.. at least in december, i can safely hang up the sign which says gone fishing and get on with the preparations for the next phase of life.

2007-11-01T21:47:00.000+08:00

Is there a racial bias in our country?
i've noticed recently the stark increase in chinese service staff in f&b establishments all over the country, from the heartlands to the city centre. While foreign 'talent' makes for a cheaper and better workforce, their inability to speak our lingua franca is such a hindrance and a frustration to customers.
An example i witnessed today involved an indian gentleman at Q Bread trying to get a cake for a relative. He asked, for the weight and flavour. The chinese staff serving him kept repeating "1/2 kg" in halting english that took a while to decipher. It seems that they could not understand him and obviously he was repeating his questio to get an answer.

I've personally encountered this situation many a time at some restaurants. I would place an order witht he waitress only to have her put me on hold while a collegue could take over just because she didnt understand english. Could employers be more discerning? Afterall, your enterprise relies on service. What if it was a caucasian instead? That would have made for an interesting sight.

I finally got the name of the style i've got my hair in. Its called a "Marlot". And its exciting to think about the many possibilities i could do with my hair once i ORD. 3 more months. 5 more days. I just cant wait.

Peace Out.

2007-10-22T15:53:00.000+08:00

Its this wonton obsession with money that plagues almost all singaporeans.
Just look at the queues outside the legalised betting centres on wednesdays, fridays, saturdays and sundays. Not to mention the time before the horse races.

Its the Singapore Dream they say and i truly agree. To adequately survive in this country, you need to possess the 5 Cs. Cash, Credit Card, Condo, Car, Country Club. You may not need all 5, but at least 3. Car, Cash and Credit Card.

Therefore in our squeaky clean environment, the only way to make it and survive worry free is to have a windfall of a huge sum of money, money that is also not tax-exempt.

While proper financial planning may suffice and should be taught to young children, is it really enough?
Taxes keep increasing, and you pay a tax on everything from your food to your toilet.

Now while im a NS-Fulltime soldier about to embark on receiving my regular class citizenship, i'm facing the worry of joining the paperchase and pursueing the singapore dream.
In my opinion, those really able to enjoy what our sunny island has to offer are those who can afford thr regular. I shop at sales, shun nett prices and bargain. I cant not bargain, no choice. Like a student who has to study for the exams.
Ancient men fought to survive, i study to survive, i work to live. work to eat. not really eat to live. but live to eat.

;>

2007-10-17T21:14:00.000+08:00

sometimes i really need someone else to confide in and to get support from....
sigh..

2007-10-17T15:26:00.000+08:00

The staggering amout of duties is getting me cranky.
3 months 20 days is short, but not that short. how i wish i could forget about things and enjoy things at the moment, i try to but it only gets on my nerves..

Its funny how i can spend days just not really having any conversations at all..taking refuge in my books. i guess the best is to just look forward to the public holidays and events that are about to happen all the way till year end. To those who have finished their journey, all the best on your next phase of life! i'll be joining you soon!

So response to my horrid situation, i have decided to use the time to study Dante's The Divine Comedy- Hell. It should be an interesting read though somewhat dry. Gotta make it fun somehow. =>

2007-09-03T21:16:00.000+08:00

it truly is lonely at the top.

being made sergeant aint all that spectacular and wonderful.. although i climbed all the way up. Uncommon but not unheard of.

the effects of this rapid rise has alienated me from the rest and im challenged now and then. What should i do?

Im feeling rather down because i dont know what to do or what is expected of me. Then again, while i may know, its not recognised by the general populace.

5 months to go. It couldnt have been any sooner. Im looking at my friends who have less time left and feeling all envious of them. i know my time will come but still im alone in some sense.

2007-08-05T01:23:00.000+08:00

its funny how watching an army sponsored drama serial in which one of the characters enlists and goes through his basic miliatary experience can raise up feelings of nonstalgia so much so that i can actually feel it happenign to me. It has not been very long since i was just there roughing it out and looking forward to the ferry home.

Somehow, lonliness has this inexplicable way of creeping up upon you and its scary to think of the life ahead without companions who share your goals or dreams.

random ramblings but yet, in this odd hour of the night, i wish i coudl say i feel content but i've let myself down by being selfish and not making an effort for my friends. good company i miss and take for granted.

i really have to work on this..

2007-07-29T21:00:00.000+08:00

why am i feeling this way?
this is remnant of the feelings from a year back.. i dare say its been a whole year since and if i could have pulled through it then, i can definitely do so now.. i've got the strength, now i just needa push myself mentally..

i really feel depressed over this and its silly.

maybe our brains really have not caught up with the times.

2007-07-29T14:46:00.000+08:00

Why does money seem to be the factor that determines survival and/or contentment?

i want us to live our dreams and follow our passions.
that would be what drives us and brings about that satisfaction we so sorely crave in this life.

my debt is almost paid. and i must say, the time now is neither long nor short but why am i so impatient? i crave freedom more than anything else.. authority without freedom means nought.

2007-07-22T21:38:00.000+08:00

sometimes,
maybe all you got to do is accept that people want to do something nice for you.
and be grateful.

all this "save the trouble" crap doesnt work. on the contrary, it makes the other party wonder why they even bother

accept that we are mere mortals

on another note,
im feeling horrible

2007-06-26T21:34:00.000+08:00

Its not like you've never survived it before so just hang in there.
oh boy.. easier said than done.

tear gas really is potent.
-rioter warning.

like alex said. its not that they are useless, its that they have no idea where to start.

the random ramblings.

2007-06-24T22:34:00.000+08:00

its really about giving your best and having fun and not about the result.

it does feels so much better that way.

2007-06-21T19:30:00.000+08:00

hes a chinese male. but so very different. who really cares.

And his aloof nature makes him an outcast.

being left out of the games and the fun make solitude all the more friendly.
Regimentation? Its the worst nightmare. That truly is the scariest thing.
sudden changes, following the rules again after such a long lapse? why even bother in the first place?
a third left of two years, it'll be over soon. it will..

Mr Orwell, oh how i admire your ability to express the concept in writing.

Mr Smith, you try too hard. but eventually, you conform.

honestly, we're but a statistic.

2007-06-20T20:28:00.000+08:00

a walk down memory lane.

sometimes it really aint that bad. fun even.

my biggest problem is being forced to do things.

regimentation is a nono

2007-06-12T22:01:00.001+08:00

For a time i believed it impossible.
my hope renewed,
i know it will thus be possible.

Life must never be allowed to be a drag.

There will always be alternatives, we just need to look for them.

Stereotypes and societal status objects are dangerous. be warned.

be disciplined.

Have Fun!

2007-06-12T22:01:00.000+08:00

to save my command of the writen language.

2007-01-27T15:56:00.000+08:00

So in thise new year, i've embarked on a savings scheme and a new business..

so far so good in other stuff except that things seem so slow moving in my sales.
I really wonder why is this so..

Went aboard a LST last week and it was a good change in scene from the usual doin nothin of staying in camp.. oh wells, for now, all thoughts shift to making my sales.. please support me!! ahaha.. a desperate plea for help..

check it out, http://tee-for-two.blogspot.com

im bored..

2007-01-02T21:20:00.000+08:00

2006 has thus passed and 2007 begins.
the memories of time past
hopes of time about to come.
resolutions, ventures.
Ultimately its whats close to heart that matters.

Happy New Year everyone!!
I can think of the million things i intend to do but slowly and steadily is the way to go.
Somehow a year seems so long here as compared to the epic stories in books or when told by our very own selves to others. The swash-buckling school years.. the army trainings.. whatever does happen, time still passes..
ahh.. the sweet passage of time.

fel, i love you.

2006-11-26T21:08:00.000+08:00

it was a very long time ago that i heard praise for the way i played. Impressing with my technique..The adrenaline coursing through my veins as i had that split second to decide on the direction of my spin and sinking the shot. How i miss these things, the ball game, the quick passes to my buddy that i know will be there to pick up the pass and finish the play. It shall continue.

I really think driving is boring after having got a license that i cant use. how silly the system is.
Too bad..i still needa do it properly and get that civilian license which would mean greater mobility.

Another business idea in the works. this time i'll come up with a proper business plan and model with proper risk assessment before i continue. Credit card, come to me!

i sound like an immature prick, but honestly, life now revolves around camp which sucks and im trying ways and means to get a life that would allow me to think about other things.. i disliek having packed weekends. Oh how i love simple slow days where time lingers on and im basking in the glow of being together with my sweetstuff and feeling all safe. Its a baptism of fire of sorts.. now wheres that fire extinguisher?

Someone give me a book without romance nor reproduction. For now, i long for a celibate world.
Song and dance appeals,
Food reveals.
Sleep prevails.

Till another weekend,
sayo nara.

Fel, I love you!
as always.
Prepare for an exciting tuesday!!

Ben, damn your lecturer or whatever he is, could you still do the rose culture thingy?? i want in into that project!

Quan you bitch, lets play again soon!

Charles, fancy a drink buffet at pan pac?

this is so girly but im feeling all high but not dry.
i cant wait for next weekend to play and relax.. whee

2006-11-19T21:58:00.000+08:00

I need time..
I miss my friends..
Damn i hate guard duty.

things are coming and going in such a whirl that i literally see the days coming and flying by.
Getting tired and i could use a regular weekend whereby i come back, chill and relax and sleep till im fully recharged.
LCP at last. thats 1/3 down and 2/3 more to go.. i can do this i know i can.

I realise that i stammer in my speech in spite of having processed the suubject in my head.
I need to calm down and take things slowly.. im speeding up my thought and plans that it warps up the reality. Incoherent posts. bah.. at least it was a lovely weekend

2006-11-05T20:57:00.000+08:00

finally i have got my imf allowance that is due.

i resolve to start saving aggressively and grow back my bank account. im sure i can reach at least 600 before i begin christmas shopping.
i want that new bike that i've dreamt about over the last 4 years. i shall get it on the 5th year.
i'll be a sailor for a week and i sure hope its a lovely experience!
hail the new clerk but how i wish it meant stay out.
2 weeks will pass real quick.
and i pray.

2006-10-29T21:59:00.000+08:00

well no one said it was that simple.
families are divided into the maternal and paternal side and usually we tend to take to one side.
maybe i should appreciate the distance apart and cherish the times we spend together. that way there will be the chance to grow. but its magical.. tis all is and i dont ask for more.. giving thanks every single moment i can and i will continue doing so for the rest of my life.
amen.

yay!! thats the end of my first year of catechism and i relish this break woohoo!

oh hindsight,
i miss my friends. guess its high time i arrange some meet ups once things quieten down a bit.. its been a hectic last 3 months.
i need that break!

Merry christmas

2006-10-24T17:47:00.000+08:00

i now have a definition for what i do.
im a port operations guy.highly sensitive and extremely specialised. damn im a spec with low pay and no rank. underpaid.under appreciated.

im more like a loner. not that i mind but i choose to be so. its just that i share a different frequency with them. they talk so much abt nonsense that i wish i were back in the old days thinking abt my fish all the time.
everyday i just think of the next time i get to go home. seriously, its the only hting i think abt.apart from my dearest waiting at home.these 4 days have been great and i really cant wait for the end of this.

nothing is ever easy and even waiting for a year to past. you never know what lies in store in the future.for the moment, i'll just make do with the current circumstances and be happy.

lovely october.

2006-10-07T01:23:00.000+08:00

Im running away..

2006-10-02T17:11:00.000+08:00

the greatest pain and torment about all this is the loss of the past..
dont you miss the days past when you were carefree and could do what you'd like and be what you want to be.
Its those days long gone that ring out in the entrapment of the present.
while i thoroughly enjoy my weekends, i cant help but think otherwise to the freedom i could have. Lamenting my existence in sunny singapore, how long more?

2006-09-21T18:21:00.000+08:00

working aint no easy thing and in comparison to studying, i'd definitely prefer the former.

the deteriorating speech and standard of english is a real worry but i guess practice is needed to get it back to scratch.

somethings i'll never see but yet new possibilities to my future are discovered.

2006-09-13T16:56:00.000+08:00

its crazy how you know my thoughts and feelings,
how u put up with my nonsense?
and amazingly, how you're always there for me when i need you the most even though i dont say so.. im spoilt rotten.

Love works in so many amazing different ways

2006-09-05T22:38:00.000+08:00

i pray it all be good

2006-08-31T11:22:00.000+08:00

the irony of the military.
the way they work is the opposite of their mottos and vison and wadeva shit load of propaganda they have.

you have to stop whatever you're doin to greet people but they cant pause work to settle something that takes a mere 5 minutes.

comeon man, organise your things properly.

thinking soldiers? its a joke. 3G army, more time prehaps.

2006-08-13T19:47:00.000+08:00

it gets lonely at times.

and the silence is deafening

im lost.

2006-08-13T19:33:00.000+08:00

Stress does get to me and failure gets me down.
a shattered confidence and torn piece of cloth that i'll mend. mend it and make it better for theres nothin more crucial at this point that what i have to do.

i've never doubted that this was meant to be.

to those starting school, have fun and all the best!!

Onwards to my second test!

2006-08-06T13:57:00.000+08:00

its been a really long time since.

detached from the world.

present ideas anyone?

2006-07-09T02:54:00.000+08:00

its frustrating but i guess its not as bad as it first was..
in all other aspect, its been great!

2006-06-17T01:08:00.000+08:00

really. i dont know what i want.
its a mere 2 years. owells

in all other matters, having renovations or fixtures done involving contractors of any sort sucks cos they take hell of a long time to come.wad a waste of time la..

i thoroughly enjoyed the leave. if only....if only...

silly rollercoasters.

current read- my sister's keeper by jodi picoult

2006-06-13T18:34:00.000+08:00

the shopping has been amazing..and the break even better.
its funny how u look back at things and find them really funny or interesting or realised that u actually enjoyed it. and looking forward to new things..hmmm.. not a exciting prospect but one that u know wont kill u that bad..just make things a little inconvenient.

I thoroughly enjoy the gossips and scandals happening around me, and thank the stars i aint embroiled in any of em..phew..

I guess i'd be watching more movies at the cathay.. grand place it really is though i cant believe the seats actually cost 6000 bucks per piece.. gosh.

2006-06-12T01:30:00.000+08:00

sometimes we wonder why.
its part and parcel of everything

important thing is to enjoy the ride.
things dont change for you just like that.
You make the changes.

life has been a blast and theres no regrets abt anything whatsoever.

the world cup is just the best thing for mankind.

been slacking around, shopping like a girl and pigging out.
really wish life was this simple.

2006-05-15T13:34:00.000+08:00

it was never an easy thing.
no one ever found it easy.. definitely not the tens of thousands of other people who went through the weekly routine of booking in and out.
i know i can do it. why make yourself feel so screwed up over it when those who love you and care for you are fully behind you waiting to catch you should u fall.
I know and i trust and i love.

Sweetheart, do not worry for i will not let myself wallow in this feeling of self pity. of weakness and anger over my predicament.

Army, Here i come again!

2006-05-13T10:27:00.000+08:00

you gave so much to be there for me to help me through.
Thank you.

It means so much.

2006-05-11T12:40:00.000+08:00

being severely isolated from the world makes me feel dumb but i guess thats what teh bookouts are for.
anyway, through a stroke of good fortune im once again out for half a morning and though i needa book in again, i'll be back tonight.

how quickly time flies, in 3 weeks i'd have finished my bmt and woot i'll be a free man for a couple of days.

you're always in my heart and mind.
You give me strength and the courage to carry on.
Through those hard long nights, you were there for me.
Thank you so much dear.
Though you're sick now, i'll be by your side wiping the sweat off your brow and keeping you safe.
In the meantime, drink lots of water, eat well and take care!

Love-an amazing feeling.

2006-05-07T18:59:00.000+08:00

Its been a long while.
army..owells
but it made me realise how much u mean to me.
how much i love u
all the fun times we've shared
they all came back and i know..
sweetie, you're the one for me.

the sacrifices you've made, the surprises..the effort you put into everything.
it means everything to me.

there can never be enough times for me to tell u how much i love you.
baby, i Love You.

It'll be your hand in mine till the end of time.
4 more nights to go!!

2006-04-02T16:08:00.000+08:00

feeling all high and dry.
this clingy feeling of wanting to stay put
why the forced conscription?
damn it at times.

it just feels hard.
what would it be on my own.

i wanna be your hero.
i need to search deeper for the strength.

it's been greatt. good food, lovely fun and the smile on your face.
contented.

2006-03-31T11:50:00.000+08:00

7 days. alas it draws nearer and somehow im madly hyper.

Alls gonna be fun and crazy these next 7 days. woot.

Betta mania has hit.. drats.. i need the cold turkey.

boy do i really need a good nights rest.

2006-03-28T11:13:00.000+08:00

in a nutshell, im loving it.

and good things would befinitely be difficult to leave behind. It'll be tough and for 2 years too.
gotta be strong.

and the beach is magical.

tis by my will that i shall take delight in everything life throws out.
for if one thinks that one shall have fun, one will.
if one thinks that one will survive, and wants to do so, it shall happen.

i want to enjoy my life. and i shall. :)

you hold the key.

2006-03-20T20:13:00.000+08:00

I saw tekong.
its cool. and the wildlife i saw. Fantastic. i really think it'll be quite good.
She'll be missed. But absence does make the heart grow fonder. ( i hope)

A rough ride on deck in the choppy waters left me fearing for my life.
Golden brown.
Ouch.
I love the sun,sand and sea.
Boy im tired.

Damn the romans for their cruelty.
I love my fish.

Goodbye, Goodnight.

2006-03-18T19:13:00.000+08:00

The camp rawked big time.
If that was a glimpse into the future, its definitely one that i'll work hard to embrace.
Contentment.Peace. Love.
I couldnt ask for more.

somethings are but a thing of the past now.people are selfish at times.

Somehow the party left me stoned and a little unwell but the trip on mon just fills me with excitement once again.

Love is patient and kind. It is not jealous or conceited or proud.
Love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable.
Love does not keep a record of wrongs.
Love is not happy with evil but is happy with the truth.
Love never gives up, and its faith,hope and patience never fail.
Love is eternal.

Faith, Hope and Love will always remain throughout.

With this in mind,
i dare say,
I Love You.

2006-03-14T02:47:00.000+08:00

with regards to the resolution i made at the start of jan, i feel that im much closer to reachin my target though at times i overlook alot of things.
Being happy and contented is what really matters.
Im gonna ensure that every moment spent now is one that im happy, contented and loved.

Its all gonna be so cool. Parties, camps and food. Sun sand sea.

2006-03-13T23:47:00.000+08:00

I wish i was stronger.
i want to be a better man.

2006-03-11T22:47:00.000+08:00

Im seriosuly gonna be so prepared for the shit in army cos im living with a tick infestation in my room that bites the shit outta me and i can definitely rough it out in the wilds given my fishing adventures.

right now, i just wanna have a new clean bug free bed where i can sleep in peace.

these nights on the couch are making me really grumpy and cranky.

if i had my way in the world, it should be pest free. period. ticks go first, followed by cockroaches and mosquitoes and pple who just disrupt yur life.

i wish i could stop schooling.

i wanna visit ben in aust!

another place.another time.

2006-03-09T17:47:00.000+08:00

and for some reason..

im bored to tears.. and im going crazy..

2006-03-07T20:55:00.000+08:00

the true meaning of life and joy is the appreciation of the simplest things.
The way the scenery looks in the evening light.
the way u feel after a game.
how happy u feel when u see the smile on her face.

its not the material possessions u have, nor the big things u do. its really, the little things.
they say small things make the big. focus on the present to build for the future.

2006-03-07T19:55:00.000+08:00

a different place, a different time.
afternoon tea followed by that walk and slacking by the field turned into a 2 on 2 match with the whole length of the field with 10 year olds which we eventually lost 10-9. The score itself is significant and somehow 2 bums ended up having a memorable afternoon.

Now for the real thing. Enough theory.

let bygones be bygones.

2006-03-06T10:55:00.000+08:00

It was seriously the COOLEST birthday ever and i totally din even know it descended upon me.. tell me how wonderful it was. I'll forever remember the surprise and the fun and i dunno.. how special it meant to me by the most special girl.

I guess being 19, i should really cut the shit and just be a man. not to mention enjoy this last year of my teenage life.

being able to go nowhere for sure really is frustrating.

and they lived happily ever after.

2006-03-02T10:55:00.000+08:00

It is thus revealed. the tension and worry dispelled. No doubt disappointing but i am determined to make something out of myself. self-pity ends here and the champion emerges from the shell of a fallen glory.

I'll do us proud.

2006-02-27T02:06:00.000+08:00

Tower Pizzas shall take the world by storm.
A brave new world ensues.
Dystopia embraces.
its a whole new world really.

It was surprisingly peaceful studying alone for the final theory test.
a real hot day ugh.. how i wish for a light shower in the afternoon for a temporary reprieve.

2006-02-24T21:06:00.000+08:00

Oh wells...

From this point on, the results of yesteryear's actions shall cease to disrupt.
The changes of the future shall thus cease to be of worry.
Everything else is inconsequential as well.

i'd say, "Fuck it"

Thus ends the expectations i have on others for nothing is surety except by your own hand.
The stoic.

2006-02-22T21:02:00.000+08:00

And so it is..
The same unwavering feeling since the day i knelt beside whispering the prayer in the hope that you'll be mine and the promise in my heart to always love and care. Ever appreciative of everything.

good food.meet the friends day.nonstalgia at citibank. Cassanova- novelist, actor, politician, lover. Talented Impersonator.

Alas,
i realise how important the best friend is to me a week before his departure and i'll be gone before he returns.

Then again.
the same old fears resurface. But once quelled, shall remain so.

Positive, happy, strong.

Im afraid of failing myself and dead-ending my future. Life is plain and simple. I know my goals.
i miss the friends. the fun. activities. Just a stick in the mud against the current of change and growth.

2006-02-19T21:26:00.000+08:00

As the days draw closer to the all so dreaded enlistment date,
im beginning to dread enlistment.
In a nutshell, i cant bear to leave everything i have now.
Maybe i hate changes, maybe im just weak. But being stronger is the way to go.

I hated work when i was at citibank.
I hate having nothing to do when im free as a bird.
One part of me wants to look for a job and keep myself occupied.
Another wants to just bum around, cycle, ball and enjoy life.

I should take things less seriously.Honestly.
Once again indulging in silly troubles that will only get myself down.
Forgive past ills and start anew.

I'm now the frog in the well.
Narrow and indulging in a comfort zone.
Eliminating all threats to my territory.
Bah.. *slaps self.

Dante first met the leopard, then the lion and the she-wolf before the greyhound guides him to purgatory via hell.
Come what may, nothin will get me down.

this i promise you.

2006-02-17T03:33:00.000+08:00

absolut boredom.

2006-02-16T01:00:00.000+08:00

apparent nonchalance.

its been a damn good week.
i'll prob miss work despite whining so damn much abt it..nice bunch of peeps.

sometimes my luck really sucks..but heck it man.. nothings gonna upset me in this period before the compulsory sacrifice of 2 years of my life..

The light in your eyes and the smile on your face plus the knowledge that you're safe makes everything worth it.
Let me be the one.

2006-02-14T13:45:00.000+08:00

An excitng day lies ahead :>

my culinary skills will definitely put to the test once again after being dormant for so long :>

prawns
steak
fillet
pasta
sausages
strawberry romanoff
salad

a sumptious dinner awaits

every day should be like valentine's day.

maybe everyone should be less selfish. maybe even friends need timeouts for a bit. thinking before speaking is definitely a beneficial skill as with considering the reactions of others.

2006-02-06T19:35:00.000+08:00

this CNY has been a blast. maybe so due to it descending upon me when i least expected it.
work has been a topsy turvy roller coaster of love and hate and the only things that i had been looking forward to were the end of my work days and receiving my cheques. every weekend and moment spent with friends or girlfriend was cherished like the next moment would never come. maybe the lack of a life had made me cherish and value things more.

really looked forward to surf and sweat and it was a blast. i surprised even myself with the way i ran my race and played my game and my partner rawked big time though she really hated it. real thankful for her goin through with the idea of joining the mixed open for the second year running. The biggest influence on me that day is fel. her presence and support meant a whole big difference from keeping me cool during the soccer games to just supportin me during my run. She rawks my socks.

the dark clouds seem to be gathering again and i have better do my best to get rid of em.
enough is really enough.
skeletons in the closets.

retail therapy.

2006-01-26T00:13:00.000+08:00

illness brings along with it frustration. pain. and maybe the wish to just be alone. wellness is hoped to come fast.

its been awhile since the boy visited his island. many things have come and gone. came and stayed. past and present collide in a vortex of uncertainty. hes alone.scared and upset.
life has this uncanny ability to throw up surprises at almost every turn.

as ben would say, nothin is ever easy.right. i hate today.

money is a complication of life. development has brought abt the regression of humanity.
damn it. screw work. and fuck it all.
while i wish i was away on my island, i know that i could never bear being alone. maybe i should get a dog. at least it'll be a constant.

2006-01-22T18:44:00.000+08:00

Fort minor- where'd you go.

Monday blues.
so many things im missing. people. life. the past?

"Lonely so often, the tears free falling.
my mind just spins
reality ceases to exist."

You never realise how much people mean to you're separated from them.
nonstalgia-
never waste life reminiscing over the past.

so far so good. the re-building project is on task.
cheerful and crazy but still ultimately alone. dealing with it just fine :>

the lovely cake, made my heart tug.
It just means so much..everything does..
Dancing in the rain. the smiles, the cheers. playing. the simple joys of life.
im content.

financial woes plague everyone. maybe utopia sint so bad. communal property. Selfish mercenary world. Experience, competition all for the betterment of ones social standing? i hate it. why cant things be simple. i miss the days when i was just a kid. growing up aint fun. not one bit.

take care my friends,
it'll be my turn soon.
wise is one who taps the experience of others.
i'll ace this.

*staring life in the face.
"bring it on. i'm ready for you"

life and its surprises.
surprise me.

2006-01-14T21:12:00.000+08:00

A vodka collection? the alsolut flavours are so cool la.. plus the bottle designs.. oh man.. i aint that fond of it.. but i so love the bottles

2006-01-09T00:03:00.000+08:00

New plans!!!

Party!!

i've got these plans in my mind for a new room layout. landscape models of towns, forts and castles. cool stuffs.

new shirt, pants and jacket plus that belt.

still dun like an office but it pays well so 9 hours and thats it man.

to my dearest bike, i'll look after you baby. Cleaning, polishing and upgrading. i'll budget for that.

for everything else, to the bank you go!

2006-01-08T23:56:00.000+08:00

*looking for clues, answers, a conclusion.

the silly riddle i once heard echoes in my mind. what really happens to that pin?

2006-01-07T11:03:00.000+08:00

-blows off the dust covers.

Its been such a long time now and well, i guess so much has happened. some good some bad most neutral.

The new year came and went for me and it was just fantastic reallu. its now 2006 and its a new year, to be cliche, its a new year, new start.

In the past 2 days i've realised a couple of things about myself which are rather shocking. Once i thought i was invincible, now i realise my weaknesses. But i'm glad i've got over the nonsense with it and i'm giving myself 3 months to overhaul myself and tweak some improvements. That would prob count as a resolution?? *chuckles.

I'm finally gonna be starting catechism soon and i'm rather excited by that prospect. to those who may think that my decision to join that CATs ministry was because my girlfriend is in it, well..that was the catalyst because i've always wanted to teach just that i had my doubts and somehow she helped me rediscover my faith in a way. Now its all my wanting to give and share whatever i have with kids.

I'm a rather reliant person, always depending on other people, friends, gf, family, and basically just everyone. i've never actually been strong and dealt with stuff on my own. and i guess sometimes it burdens those who matter alot to me so much so that they cant share stuff.. Its been me taking and taking all the while and its time i give back something. to everyone.

In a nutshell, i had a fantastic new year with the people closest to me. I'm blessed with a good family a nice girlfriend, wonderful friends. what more could i want? maybe sometimes i should be content with what i've got. the resolution for this year would prob be the self-improvement project which i'm gonna steel myself to go through with.

I feel so damn good and optimistic about things now and i guess i'm gonna make sure it stays that way.

A happy new year to everyone! (though its a damn week late, but there are 51 more to go ;) )

2005-12-23T19:01:00.000+08:00

Its that time of year once again, the season for caring and sharing.
spending quality time with your loved ones and cherishing everything you have.
To think that during this time the last 2 years, i'd been embittered with something beyond my control and thank god that this year is so much different. I've got my family, friends, fel close by and i couldnt ask for anything more. :>

A very Merry Christmas to one and all!

Best wishes,
jonathan

Its been a long year that seemed to past so quickly, one of the more eventful years i've had with so much fun and activities and i've found someone who means so much to me and i've opened up my heart to so much more and in some ways improved as a person. Another stage in life, singaporean life, has just been passed and another awaits. But its of little consequence. I've realised that happiness is what you actually make of it, many things may happen but nothin is ever that gloomy. Sacrifice for what you believe in and many things entail committment and sacrifice. Many lessons i've learnt in these past 12 months and some of them are one of the greastest lessons of life.
To me, Experience is one's best teacher and Love is life's greatest motivation.

Many people have also touched my life in so many ways, and while some stay and others leave for various lenghts of time, i'll never forget their kindness and i'm grateful to them. Thank You.

2005-12-18T22:39:00.000+08:00

Shit happens and when it does happen, somehow or rather a whole huge load comes tumbling down on you.

Its crazy but i wish i was goin into NS with all of em at the same time in Jan. Enlisting in April doesnt seem like such an attractive prospect anymore.

Irritation bursting
Ceaseless nagging
Bloody crap

Piss off man..

Misunderstood
Unfortunate
Unlucky

High expectations = Hard falls/knocks

Independence.

Sitting on the sand, he realises the joys of the simple things in life and while its difficult to love, Love makes it all worth it. Whatever it is, we're ultimately alone, so independence is more important. You got to take care of yourself before you can take care of others.

Whatever happens, happens for a reason. and its sometimes better not to meddle so much and take things as they come. Leave what you cant change alone and change those that you can.

2005-12-16T20:49:00.001+08:00

Sleep, oh beauty sleep,
why dost thou elude me?
You leave me parched, thirsting to fall into your arms.

Feverish, cold, aching and sneezing.

Sleep, oh beauty sleep,
please come take me.

2005-12-16T20:49:00.000+08:00

"The Glory Of Love"
Tonight its very clear
As we're both lying here
There's so many things I wanna say
I will always love you
I will never leave you alone
Sometimes I just forget,
Say things I might regret
It breaks my heart to see you crying
I don't want to lose you
I could never make it alone
[Chorus:]
Cause I am the man who will fight for your honor
I'll be the hero That you're dreaming of
Gonna live forever knowing together
That we did it all for the glory of love
You keep me standing tall
You help me through it all
I'm always strong when you're beside me
I have always needed you I could never make it alone...
[Chorus]
It's like a knight in shining armor from a long time ago
Just in time I'll save the day
Take you to my castle far away...

2005-12-13T22:00:00.000+08:00

Starlight starbright, first star i see tonight.
I wish i may, i wish i might,
catch the first star i see tonight.

Busy squirrel scampering by,
tree to tree and under the car.

It was a real interesting sight seeing that little squirrel running around in orchard places.
Apparently orchard road with all its crowds and dense built up area is great place to check out nature. Freshwater fish swim in the canals and many lesser seen bird species can be spotted in the trees if you'd look hard enough. Seeing that squirrel scamper around the tree in the middle of the grand hyatt driveway was a real treat for me.

Life in the eyes of that squirrel must be real scary with the honking of cars and traffic as well as these giant 2 legged creatures walkin all around. so many hazards, so many dangers. A real scary prospect.

A rather productive day having been stuffed silly with food, i was too smart for my own good today. owells, its a lesson learnt! ahaha.. eat in moderation. too bad i couldnt complete the plan having left out gelare but at least i bought myself that cool pair of dunks which i have always hoped to have.
Hello church mice! i'm a new addition to your community. lets share the scraps and forage for cheese form the lunches of the parishioners. Till my allowance next comes, i'm with you guys ;>

Slacking, Movies, Lunches, Family,Dinner, A lonely day, Birthday and the grand finale.

A big thank you to my baby-sitter. You rawk partner.

2005-12-12T00:49:00.000+08:00

Been caught up with a really big project.
deadlines.

Thor and Odinn, remarkable gods.

Seer powers. Something out of warcraft.Looks like the book aint that bad after all.

I miss you.

2005-12-10T10:33:00.000+08:00

Sometimes some things are said only to be regretted.
Likewise with actions.

Its a nice morning today. I see the sun's out, i feel a breeze, i smell the cool morning air(as fresh as it gets considering that theres a road right in front of my house).
its a carefree feeling.

Need to work on pose-up, defence and posture.
Passing down the lane, a chest pass, a fake, he drives jumps and feeds the ball down.
Completes the pass and the recipient jumps up and powers over the defender to put the ball in.
Matchpoint!

Its about the team.

Hardcore training programme. Day 1.

oh my...what did i get myself into...

2005-12-10T02:18:00.000+08:00

sometimes certain things get overlooked.
and those who get overlooked can only hope and pray that its temporary.
unrewarded efforts.
unconditional, non-existant.
sincere-always.

i may expect too much at times, be over-sensitive and definitely worry a lil too much.
but i do try at times to be more normal.

Everyone gets hurt at some point of time. and irrationally they say or do things they may regret.

Bottled up or opened up? depends i guess.

growing up is an integral part of life. Different rates different ways. still a long way for me to go.

im far form perfect, but at least i never stop trying my best.
i'll never take things for granted. Especially people. Its unpleasant even hurtful at times.

The closest people inflict the greatest hurt. (cant remember where i read or heard it from but its darn true)

when do i reach the point when enough is enough? never.
there will always be a solution. sacrifices are needed. but most things are usually worth sacrifices.

To love is to give without expecting anything in return.

2005-12-08T19:22:00.000+08:00

Worry not for things will be good
Have fun. Because it'll be a whole new experience.
A new country, old friends how cool is that?
take care against that nast cold/flu/icky illness
I'm here.
Fun Fun Fun!! woot! aint it exciting? it sure seems like to me :>

2005-12-07T18:41:00.000+08:00

Frustrated.
Sad.
Hurt.

Over-sensitive? Yes i think so.

Bad luck? definitely.

2005-12-06T03:00:00.000+08:00

the lover.the fool.
the poet.

The king. the queen. royalty.
lights, camera, action.

dinner.supper.drink.

photographs.flash.blind.

the bold and the beautiful. Class.
hits and misses.

friends. relations.nonstalgia

weakness and strength.

Us.Now.Forever.Unchanging. steadfast. loyal. true.
i'll always be there. the safety net.

2005-12-04T21:32:00.000+08:00

frustration.
irritation.
lacking.
lost.
lonely.
bored.
domesticated.
where is the love?
there it is!
you just dont see it dumbo..
oh yea?
yeaps.
shoot you!
BANG!
*falls down dead.

The island seems cramped. time to emerge and face up to reality. One full of changes. comings and goings. They stink, yea, i know, i stink too. mindless rambles. tell me about it.

overspending. ugh. so many things i want to buy, need to buy desire to have.

irritations over silly daft things. maybe i'm daft. and yes, i aint the best. how good is that? woot! great wonderful fantastic.

Sisterhood of the travelling pants. funny. sad. touched. now looking at my jeans i mutter "tell me what to do. and how to do it"

"quit whining and dwelling on the problem u doofu! get your sorry ass out there and work that solution u have locked up inside that numb skull of yours."

discipline your damn self u nut. dreams without actions remain dreams. unfulfilled dreams only make u regret. why regret when u can realise them-easily too.

time aplenty, opportunities plentiful.

to make a friend is to be a friend.

2005-12-04T21:30:00.000+08:00

its tough at times and i really dont know how to explain it.
it aint a nice feeling thats for sure.

You'd never guess it. You'd never know.
It could be u.It could be me.

2005-11-29T02:30:00.000+08:00

i now realise how much certain things mean to me.
how much you especially mean to me and the great big part of my life that you are a part of.
I never realised how much i could love a person and these feelings are getting stronger with each passing day. To god up there, i thank you for everything you've given me, especially this wonderful relationship i share with fel.
Words are just insufficient to describe adequately how i feel but i'm sure you know.
i'm loving u now, and always and it'll only be stronger and stronger.

tis the greatest ever.

2005-11-27T13:46:00.000+08:00

a conundrum of sorts.

tell me about it.

*packs stuff to run off to the island.The last stronghold for his sanity in the face of countless changes.He cant cope. its hard. he just wants to run away from it all and continue on running. The fears gripping in its prickly grasp, he wonders but no answers befall. He concludes that the island is the best palce to be. Hiding in his solitary comforts.

2005-11-24T18:56:00.000+08:00

Half baked.
Weird.
Loved.
Loving.
Lousy.
Defence.
Post-up.
Passing.
Help.
Sian.
Friends.
Company.
Bottle.
Water.
Lunch.
Dinner.
Hot.
Today.
Holiday.
Schooless.
No where.
Goner.
Basketball.
Car.
Bike!!
Dreams.
Realities.
Prom.
Love.
Tears.
Uncertainty.
Spying.
Luck.
Clover.
Exams.
Results.
How?
Incoherent blabbering.
Unknown.
Codes.
just shoot me.

2005-11-23T20:56:00.000+08:00

1 last one to go.and i'll be free from books.

Nothing could be better than this.
i'll be your everything.

2005-11-21T11:05:00.000+08:00

A bottleneck of sorts.

heck aplenty.

2005-11-18T11:39:00.000+08:00

Its been a transition from then till now.
Perfection in the making.
Nothing beats the present.
Its been a long way since.
No looking back.

Second last precedes the last.6 days to go for 3 hours of arguments.
i cant wait.

An end and a beginning.

The perception of time.
Long-time felt though Short-time in reality.
Who cares, its been the best time of my life.
This day not too long ago,
The best thing ever happened.
Was it pre-ordained or did we make it happen?
We'll never know but its something that never needs finding out.
The feelings are mutual.

"your hand in mine till the end of time"

2005-11-15T18:56:00.000+08:00

absolutely dreadful.

damage control

you're my everything.

2005-11-13T23:55:00.000+08:00

A lone figure.
Deafening.

"to do the right thing as fur as we know, and to trusten"

2005-11-08T18:56:00.000+08:00

ok, thats one paper down, although it aint a really important paper, but the whole exam process and the experience of goin to sch somehow gives me an upbeat feeling. It might be due to the claustrophobic feelings of being stuck at home and unable to do what i'd like cos of the guilt i'd feel. But anyways, i feel ready to face the coming papers, and it does seem like a really fun prospect! it wont be long now. heavy hearts from the exam pressure will soon be a thing of a past. if only the days pass faster now.

2005-11-04T22:08:00.000+08:00

You want it to be over soon. yet you feel that it shouldnt come so soon.

A blink away, it was 30 days. Now, its a mere 3 days away. 72 hours.

Nothings gonan get me down. Wave after wave of panic attacks can hit me but they'll be fought off with renewed vigour and confidence. One thing i know i do possess, the self-confidence and trust in my own abilities, although at times they disappear and the contrary presents itself, its ultimately there.

Insecuritites have been washed out and what a silly billy i've been.
:)

The light at the end of the tunnel shines ever so brightly though i've got the brightest torch by my side which which never fade out.

The show begins in 72 hours. 10 days of papers spread out over 16 days or so which will pass by in a blink of an eye to mark the start of an end of another phase of life and the beginning of another. exciting prospects, a hopeful future.

"elementry my dear watson"

2005-10-28T18:38:00.000+08:00

Everything will be alright.

It'll pass and soon become a memory.

The warrior from long ago did a haka which inspired and it said:

"My strength is found within and while people around are there for me, eventually, only i can help myself, and all it takes is a whole lot of love and faith in one's ownself. Self-belief.

I know i can, i believe i can.Hence I came, I conquered, I celebrate.
but i know i did not do it alone. The many who have helped along the way deserve full credit."

Likewise for me.

*any resemblence to real life events or persons are purely coincidental.

2005-10-17T02:17:00.000+08:00

The poem about friends.

Sometimes we’re fools to overlook the people we have around us.
When we realize that, more often than not they’re gone.
Though people come and go, and the dearest one stays with you,
These special people always surround you.

Once close, now not, it matters little.
In times of need, they’ll be a friend indeed.
Its better late than never to realize that for a fact,
And do what you can to ensure that the friendship never ends.

Be a friend to make a friend.
Never take anything for granted to maintain a relationship.
Feelings are fragile and may get sore
But after a while, they’ll feel better therefore time to restore

dedicated to all those out there whom i have drifted away from.

2005-10-17T00:47:00.000+08:00

Worrying over silly things is really the worst thing i could do.

Gonna steel myself and have faith in things and in myself.
Silly ol me.

Things are really getting better. Slowly but steadily.

Other things are getting stronger and its darn great.
I love you

Not much time now. Got to make full use of every free moment i've got.Only one shot at the exams for my future.

2005-10-16T00:36:00.000+08:00

the rest have all got their enlistment letters. the dates range from 20+ dec to early jan.
I've yet to get mine.
somehow there are mixed feelings. part of me wants to join them early while another part of me wants to delay it further.

Hmmm.. i guess i'll just need to wait and see.
for now, its just me and my books.

Study camp from sun night till wed morning. lets see how long i can last locking myself up in my room and studying intensively .